– Est. 1981

Amazon Prime Day – Everything you always never needed

Have you ever walked into a retail store that was liquidating all of their assets? You know all of the big yellow signs that say "Everything 20-30% off!" The best time to go into one of these liquidation sales is when everything is between 10-20% off, because there are TV's, computers, and all sorts of things still available that are slightly discounted. Things you want! Hurray!

Amazon Prime Day was basically like walking into a liquidation sale during the 50-60% off week. All that shit that piles up on the end caps and at the check out lines is in the spotlight and laid out on a table at the entrance. There are maybe two people still working in the store and they're slow and sluggish, waiting for their severance packages. Other shoppers walking around looking at all the doodads and thingamabobs while they sip on their smoothies from smoothie king next door (because no one makes a special trip to a liquidation sale) are getting overly enthusiastic about Tupperware and mouse pads. Big sales are exciting, it's hard to not get wrapped up in all of the excitement of plushies at 10% off and switch blade lighter cover thingies...

You know why I didn't buy anything from Prime Day? Because I was overwhelmed with how underwhelming the whole fiasco was. Even the copy cats like Wal-Mart and Target were so mediocre I was barely whelmed at all.

Sad Tennant

Anything remotely useful was claimed before I could even get to the toilet. Because I only shop on the shitter. Scrolling through endless single file pages of toys and trinkets to get to the only thing I cared about, a 6 pack of LED light bulbs was more than I could handle. When I finally got to the light bulbs and freaked out over the incredible deal I was about to get I just happen to notice the price was still higher than I could get a Lowes.

All I wanted was some light bulbs, Amazon!

Whatever, I still love you. But damn girl...

Filed under: 2015 No Comments

Kids Computer Games – The Struggle is Real


My daughter is 3 and a half now; it's time to introduce her to computers, mouse and keyboard, and video games. You know, the real ones on PC and consoles. Not the pay to win kind on your tablet. She's been playing with tablet games since she could extend her little digit and point at the screen.

I've been struggling to find games that will teach her how to use the mouse and didn't require twitch reflexes. I searched Steam and Googled "games for toddlers" for days. Then one day while browsing the Humble Bundle store and their massive DRM Free sale I found Windosill and Metamorphabet on sale for a couple of dollars. I figured it was worth a try.

So here is our experience so far:

  • Metamorphabet - We had some introduction to mouse and keyboard usage prior to this so it was easy for her to pick up but this game really allows kids to explore the environment. Every click has a new result and "moving forward" to keep them interested is really simple.
  • Windosill - The first time we launched this game she hated it and lost interest quickly. I didn't give up on it because it was so highly rated. I played through the first few puzzles myself so that I could progress the game forward for her if she got stuck or started losing interest. The next time she played she started to lose interest again so I nudged her into the right direction, the game progressed and now she is in love with it. She gets so excited when little events happen on-screen and she is constantly looking for the next piece of the puzzle.

I highly recommend both of these games, but additionally all of the Vectorpark games are great exploration games and I feel like my daughter is getting smarter and more creative by playing them.

If you're in the same boat as I was, looking for a way to get your child into either video games and/or computers without rotting their brain I would recommend you check these out... You'll have fun with them, too.

Filed under: 2015, Fatherhood No Comments

About a girl…

In 2008 I met a girl in a red Tardis. I thought she was really neat and I was at a point in my life that I really needed a neat girl who flies a red Tardis, I just didn't know how much. We spent a lot of time together during that first year. We went on a spur of the moment cruise, we went to the Ringling Museum... you moved in with me. My parents made us wear silly glasses and go on a scavenger hunt. We were both coming off of previous relationships and said we weren't looking for anything serious right away but it happened anyway. You can't stop yourself from falling in love. Try though we may, and I did. This girl I met made me fall for her...

My girl who waited.






Sometime in 2008 we decided it would be a good idea to buy a house together. We were moving very quickly and I didn't have any reservations about it. We had our ups and downs but we knew one thing was certain at this point. We both found a great team mate in life. We agreed we would stay in our new home for 5 years, until we started a family.

We made our new home ours... we had fun painting and decorating and *cough*remodeling*cough* but mostly we grew together and learned a lot about ourselves and each other during this time frame. It's almost as if we knew we were going to create the perfect little family... but sometimes it seems like nothing comes easy. There was some heart break, some tears... but then...


Bentley came...

And slept...

And grew up... but still slept.

And did the thing where he puts his head in the log and stares at us...

He truly became our little boy and he quickly became part of our little family. He grew up in our first home. He ran around the back yard, we all went for walks together. You and I grew closer, like magnets.. sometimes they repel each other but they always turn around and when they do, they're a perfect fit.

We grew closer still on our trip to Oklahoma. We went to visit family, we came home without the fear of forever. Being with each other forever. Sleeping in the same bed forever. Struggling through downs forever and enjoying the ups forever. I can pinpoint the exact moment it happened. The moment I decided I wanted to marry you. It's the picture you're looking at now that did it to me. Not the moment the picture was taken but the moment I was reviewing all of our photos from that day and I stopped at this one and it made me smile, but I smiled differently. It was deeper, more meaningful and knowing.



It's this smile that I fell in love with.






Then... one day, we kissed on a beach in a foreign country surrounded by poverty and roaches. And beautiful sunsets, bottles of champaign, best friends that turned out to be strangers (or strangers that turned out to be best friends), crystal clear waters, amazing french doors with a view of the ocean, private balconies, and each other.

We danced in the street with strangers watching and taking pictures of us. We danced to no music. Then we danced to Bob Marley and your dress got wet and dirty.

It's a shame our friends and family couldn't be there with us.

Just kidding... :)



Without hesitation, 9 months later at the end of 2011 our suspicions came true. We were going to create perfection and you delivered her into this world and shared her with me. Hazel was born.

You were more beautiful in that moment than you were any time previously.

Hazel Marie Foister

Thank you for being 90% of the reason for this.

2012 was a crazy year... we learned that we are perfect together and that we agree where it counts, we also disagree where it counts. We learned that we are great parents together and apart. Hazel became a lot like you and a lot like me.

Which means she may at some point learn the balance between eating corn on the cob in perfect circles and eating it completely at random.




In December of 2012 we put a Christmas Tree on the kitchen counter...

We discovered Hazel has a high midichlorian count and she built her own light saber at a year old. She hunted down the Bounty Hunter Boba Fett on her own.

And we found that we have perfect lighting for photos in our master bathroom.

The only photos we have ever taken in that room were of you and Hazel...

The lighting would be jealous.

 In 2013 we did so much, and so much of it revolved around our little family. We spent 2013 creating an orbit for ourselves, we are very tight now. I am more in love with you now than I have ever been and you are more beautiful than you have ever been.

Hazel learned what a pumpkin is. The three of us carved one together.

Hazel met Mickey Mouse. But mostly you and I were star struck. We talked about him for days.

Sorry about failing to hit record.

It won't happen again...

2014 is still new and so many good things are happening already. We've started a new adventure together...

I'm looking into the future we have created for ourselves and I like what I see. Our adventure is still so young and we have accomplished so much together...












There's a girl I met in 2008... she became my wife, the mother of our daughter and our little dog.

And I love her.

Happy Valentines Day, Suzette.

Filed under: 2014 1 Comment

Use sunscreen, skin cancer is frightening.

Disclaimer: This is going to be a lot of words, I'm sorry there is no TL;DR. If you don't know much about skin cancer, read this. If you're an expert go ahead and skip it.

I have freckles, I live in Florida, I have had a lot of sun burns in my life and I have never been to a dermatologist. Until last week.

My skin cancer story starts with a cyst. I have a small cyst under my right arm, it's no big deal and it's not the first one I have needed to have removed. I originally went to a general surgeon to have it removed. Luckily he wanted to completely put me under in order to remove it and luckily I don't want to be put under, so I went seeking a second opinion from a dermatologist. While in the dermatologist office I opted in for the head to toe check and what followed turned my life upside down, temporarily. The doctor found a spot on my "birth mark" that looked like melanoma and a biopsy was taken. During the two days of agonizing waiting I did a lot of reading about melanoma and skin cancer and completely freaked myself out.

My primary concern was that this spot has been there for a very long time, at least 5 or 6 years and if this was in fact melanoma I was sure it had been there long enough to spread and kill me. I justified everything with this in mind. My right testicle was sore for a couple of hours, oh shit it's the cancer. I was very tired recently and took more naps than usual, oh shit it's the cancer. I'm going to die! I'm not going to see my daughter grow up!

Skipping ahead, the biopsy came back and it was not melanoma. The official diagnosis was "Junctional Melanocytic Nevus with Architectural Disorder and Mild Cytologic Atypia (Dysplastic Nevus)". Very scary sounding, however, translated to english this means I have a large birthmark/mole with mild atypical skin cells that could potentially be dangerous, but not cancer. The doctors still want to remove it because it could be dangerous and it's better to be safe than sorry. That procedure will be done on September 5th, hopefully at the same time they remove the cyst under my arm.

So, all of that being said there are a couple of things I have learned. Skin Cancer is the leading cause of all cancer in the world. One study states that one in five people will be diagnosed with some form of skin cancer throughout their lives. Out of those people, one in ten will be diagnosed with melanoma, which is deadly. Caught early there is a 92% cure rate, which is great. But if you're like me, a regular dude and you don't look at your back in the mirror frequently you are more likely to catch it late. Catching it late, after it has spread to neighboring lymph nodes or organs turns it into only a 52% cure rate.

Every night on TV you watch at least one commercial about viagra. You might hear something about feeling for lumps in your breasts or about some new medicine to help cure prostate cancer. A very common thing to hear as a man is how you should roll your balls around in your hand to feel for bumps, lumps or any size change. The awareness for these cancers is fairly high. Why is it then, than the leading cause of ALL cancer is not spoken about nearly as much? It's easy to detect... rub on your skin and feel for anything new, abnormal. Use your special eyes to look at yourself for anything new or abnormal. Growing up in what might be the skin cancer capital of the united states I feel like this should not have taken me by surprise.

Growing up my mother always told me to wear sunscreen, and I'm positive she mentioned skin cancer... but mostly I just "didn't want to get a burn" and a lot of times this was not enough of a deterrent to reapply every 30 minutes. There were days we spent at the beach where I didn't see the shade for hours.

If you take nothing else away from this blog post, take this. Wear sunscreen and channel your inner primitive human. Ask that primitive beast if it would like to go sit
in the sun. I'm willing to bet the answer is no... Human skin really isn't resilient enough to handle the sun at peak hours. Check your skin, have your spouse check your skin. It's easy, and don't be afraid of the dermatologist. Catch things early, removing things from the skin is easy.

Filed under: 2013 No Comments

The 10 Month Update

 I recently made a post on Facebook about how my daughter sits deep in thought sometimes, you can tell her little gears are turning and I speculated that she was trying to decide how to solve the worlds' problems. I wish she was just thinking about how much she loves her Daddy, but really for such a young bright mind the world at large is a much more important task.

I was wrong, she is much smarter than that. You see, all she needs to do is smile and laugh and the problems in her immediate area are solved, or made a lot less significant. This is my unwavering opinion of my (now 10 months old) little girl. She is the ultimate problem solver because there are just simply less problems when she is laughing, smiling and happy.

I'm not one to believe in fate or a higher power somehow deciding my life for me but I will admit that a little girl is what I needed in my life and fatherhood is something that I (now) cannot imagine living my life without.

Life has a funny way of giving you what you need. Then you realize that's what you wanted all along. Ten months old.. we are ten months into this journey and I am still frequently left with this surreal feeling when she smiles at me;

"This is my daughter... wow"

Filed under: 2012, Fatherhood No Comments